Mmm Cheez-its... symbolism is tasty. You know what else would be tasty? Platypus egg omelets... with zebra sausage. Yum. What?? Animal print is in! A few months back I—theoretically—paired wines with domesticated animals... shiraz would go nicely with kitten.
Speaking of redneck cooking methods, during the northern Wisconsin 4th festivities, after mastering skeet shooting frisbees with potatoes, my Marine cousin upped the ante and killed a red-squirrel with a potato gun. Boy, that shaved a hell of a lot of time off dinner prep not having to cook them taters, though, the meat was a bit bruised...
After a while we ran out of hairspray—White Rain works the best—and spuds... and beer... So, God Bless Wisconsin, we went to the local grocery store, and not only did they have food and cosmetics, they had a full selection of liquor.
Our final shopping list?
Potatoes
Hairspray
Beer
Gin
Vodka
Mike's
To tope off the red-neckery, my cousin and I poured vodka and capri-suns into travel mugs and watched the fireworks. Still looking for the poetry in that. I'll just say, cuss yeah.
