In my 9+ years of dating, I've heard just about everything. I have quite the arsenal of excuses, "I don't like blondes," and "you're not Catholic" as well as "I hate the way your forehead wrinkles," and the classic "I'm too busy," let's not forget, "You voted for Bush," and last but not least, "you don't fit in to my 5 year plan." That last one has become somewhat of an inside joke amongst friends because it's happened to me three times. I must attract really finicky long-term goalers. Whatever.
The excuse as of late (yesterday, which never ended since I never went to bed) is a real dinger, and has already reached inside joke magnitude. Wait for it... "adrenaline made me do it." I mean at least he called me to tell me that he blamed his youthful horny indiscretion on the levels of a certain hormone in his blood. That's like me blaming vodka for dropping that thing in the toilet on 4th of July... never-mind that. My point is, that I chose to have vodka and as a result of my CHOICE, I dropped something in the toilet. He chose to tickle-kiss and then pounce on me. Then he chose to freeze me out after weeks of solid pursuing-type friendship. He made these choices. He led me on. Don't blame an adrenaline rush from watching the game. Your team didn't even win.
I'm really sore on excuses. I'd rather he just said, "you looked hot/smelled good, so I made out with you. Sorry." But, "adrenaline made me do it." Don't lie, bastard. Let me elaborate, adrenaline makes him, "make bad decisions," (making out with me) as well as, "do things I wouldn't normally do," (be a straight man) and, "I've had this problem for a long time," (tool) and change his personality, "that's just not me." It's not like you to make out with a hot blonde? Well, you have got issues. The "problem" that you have is the problem of being a womanizing ASS and a liar. I know, I know, I'm a little proud of him for being so creative, and I will probably use this line later in life, but, how do we go back to being friends when I know he is lying. I don't like people that lie.
Phone call Yesterday, 1500
"So I don't want to lead you on."
"Ok. I see. I should probably call off the Fatwa on your head then."
"What?"
"Nothing. So, that's it, adrenaline?"
"Yup."
"Ok. I'm going to go now."
He could have just said...."look, i don't want to lead you on anymore. the other night was fun, but maybe it's for the best if we don't do it again." That would've been acceptable. I knew the no good night kiss thing was a tip off. I hate being right.
Men eventually learn, women not so often, that the human male is a visually sexual creature. He has twice as much brain territory devoted to sex. His struggle is to listen to his mind, not his brain, and control himself. If you don't believe me, just as Tiger Woods. Here's a guy who had it all, but couldn't control himself. Women also have their own struggle to control their emotions. We all have our gender crosses to bare on a daily basis. The least we can do is acknowledge the underlying casue of the struggle and help each other through it as best we can—and that includes periodically congratulating each other when we act with self-control and maturity. Encouragement is a powerful thing and we don't see much of that in today's world.
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