Hats: A Crowning Success

"I love your hat, when I was a girl I worked in a hat shop and oh did I have hats! I also had 32 pairs of high heels. But, when I got pregnant, I fell down the stairs in my heels and after that my husband burned them all, " she said pausing to peel the room with elderly and somber eyes, "it took weeks to get over."

It never ceases to amaze me how far the world has turned. My mom and I always wear hats on Easter Sunday, and sometimes Palm Sunday. The more elaborate the hat, the more we're winning. Though 832.5 miles away from mom, I continue this tradition—and quite frankly, it made my new church stir. I was even asked to help with the procession, "we're letting women do that now?" Said the usher, sarcastically, "well, you are an Apostate church," I retorted, "I think any church that does not allow a nice young lady in an Easter bonnet to carry in the cross, they are an Apostate church," interjected the pastor. Win.

This might sound superstitious and a bit puerile, but, I write better when I'm wearing a hat—specifically my black $5 cowboy hat, that is sun-bleached from living in the back window of Thundytoes, my car. If Scotch is a hug that you drink, a hat is a hug that you wear, for your head. (I should really write for the SAT people).

Whenever I feel sad or angry or upset in general, I always go visit the hats at the department store. I just feel better with them all around me. That and they all look good on me—they accept me. The hat section at Macy's is like my Tiffany's. (I wonder how much the SAT people pay?) When I put on a hat I feel special. Wow, I just typed that, but I mean it.

Random thought as I just saw an unfortunate looking dog pass by in the street, I wonder if ugly dogs know that they're ugly? I'm sure cats do, because cats are vain. This brings me back to the Dufflepuds in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

I'm having thoughts all at once now. Shoe was right, "people accuse me of having my thoughts all at once—but really they come one after another, but you, Naomi, you really do have them all at once." :)