Saturday, September 28, 2019

Barbie Crackers

Remember the movie, Needful Things? It was based off of the Steven King novel of a similar title. Basically, the Devil runs an antique shop and unknowing townsfolk purchase "needful" items, thus thrusting them into peril etc etc.

So, after a particularly long (in effort mostly) work day, where the internet and phones went out and old people were curmudgeonly, well, curmudgeon like, I went grocery shopping.

For the most part, I stuck to the list like dog hair on fleece. However, there was one impulse purchase: crackers. I mean, how can I make Chackers without crackers?!?

I zoned out on my hour commute home, mindlessly flipping off ditch deer and wanderlust turkeys and drive-dreamed of crisp cracker snacks and sugar plums. Or something.

Unpacking my food sacks, I pulled out the snack box only to discover some unholy version of cracker and chip hybrid, from the weight-loss gates of Hades... "Cracker Minis." The Cuss.

Well, now what? Do I make a snack for Barbie?!? 

I hold myself responsible for this purchase. No holds barred. I was lazy and cheap. Ashamed. My cheeses deserve better.

Speaking of unnecessary things though, my mind is on the topic of "Safe Spaces." The Left-leaning sort, not my gun safe Safe Place.

I am vexed that I am not more vexed that these so called "safe" spaces are commonplace. As a college surviving conservative, I have been bombarded with many uncomfortable and unlikable ideas and situations. You know what I did? I sucked it up. thought through things and embraced the next bright day!

Cheers to making meatloaf from Barbie Crackers!

YAWM, STRETCH first post in a few years.*