If Someone Asks if You Want a Fork, Say Yes.

Today started well enough, I awoke at 0730 with a small jazz hangover. (Win). I did my laundry, had some cookies, you know the usual Monday. Right? WRONG. It all started at Verizon Wireless...

"My phone broke, again—it won't charge."
"Oh, weird, says you just got one 4 weeks ago."
"I know, it broke again."
"Well this is getting expensive for us, you should bring in your charger and we'll replace it. I can ship you a new phone by THursday."
"Cool, thanks."

Then David's Bridal...

"Hello, I recieved an e-mail notification that my order came in."
"What's the brides name?"
"Magnuson."
"How do you spell that?"
"Umm... m-a-g-n-u-s-o-n."
"Are you the bride?"
"No, but thanks."
"And what's your name?"
"Naomi.—N-a-o-m-i."
"Hmm, ok, let me go grab that."

5 minutes later...

"What's the last name?"
"Myrick."

Three Minutes later

"Huh."

2 Minutes later

"Oh, the sash is in, not the dress."
"Ok, well can i come back when the dress is here, too?"
"Yes, it says it's on the truck."
"I'll just come back, thank you."

On my way home, I decided to get a small deli salad, to celebrate the onslaught of summer, so I stopped at Albertson's on 24th and Central.

"May I please have a small Ceazer Salad?"
"Would you like a fork?"
"No thanks, I'm on my way home."

At the register...

"You know we have forks, don't you? You want one?"
"No thanks, I'm like two minutes from home."

So, I get to the car, and it won't start. Naturally, I walked back into Albertson's and asked for a fork and ate my salad. Two hours and three phone calls later, Hans, had joined me to wait for the tow truck and in leu of paper, I had scrawled Montana AAA's number on my knee.

"Why do you have a car and driver magazine?"
"I like to look at the pictures."

Around 1440 the tow truck shows up, the driver stays on his cell phone all the while chaining my car to the truck. He ends his call, looks me up and down (yes I know I look like Ford Focus Barbie) and asks what's wrong.

"Like I know, man—it won't start and that's enough information for me. "

Thundytoes was then towed to Pro-Tech, where Hans and I waited another good 15 min. until we finally procured a clueless mechanic from the garage.

"Hi, I'm Naomi, I got the Focus, I called earlier, I've brought my car here via tow-truck because it won't start."
"SO, you're bringing in a car?"
"Yeah, I just did."
"Oh, well it's here then?"
"Yes."
"What's wrong with it?"
"It won't start."
"Huh, well here write down your information."

He says, handing me the peice of paper that Rick already wrote my info on.

"This IS my information."
"Oh, so, what happened to your car?"
"It will turn over, but won't start, it seems like the fuel injector is dying."
"Ok, give me the key."
"Here."
"When do you think you'll have an assessment?"
"Probably won't even look at her til' tomorrow."

Exit Naomi and Hans.

SO, if someone asks if you want a fork, say yes, it's likely they know something that you don't.